Please be advised: difficult topic in this post.

In the evening caring fathers swung
Laughing kids on swing sets
By day they took care of prisoners
Methodically
Pumping gas into death chambers
Firing ovens to burn human flesh
Anyway, they said sincerely,
Everyone with reason knows
They don’t deserve to live
We are important

And I’m a caring person
A good friend
Ambitious
I have my plans
My future
My fundamental rights

So when one night
My womb welcomed you
It was ok
Everyone with reason knows
You weren’t a person
Never mind that I came to be as you did
Never mind that science details your progress
Intricate blob
Miraculously dividing
Warmly dwelling
Within me

Never mind that you would
Love to fix your eyes on mine
Drift to sleep in my arms
Splash in puddles
Run and climb
Laugh and swing high
Learn how to live and love
From me

Anyway it’s my life that matters
My right to say no

So they too said
What are a few thousand more of
These unimportant lives cut short
Who cares about
Screams in a gas chamber
Stacks of bodies
Flakes of burning human skin
Floating
Reeking

Your screams were silent
Warm home sucked down a tube
Skull crushed by forceps
Tiny limbs
Torn from their sockets
Set in rows on a tray
Counted
Methodically
Did the doctor get them all?

The pieces placed
In a closet marked P.O.C.
Products of Conception
You came to be
In a moment of fun
I wasn’t ready
I wasn’t willing
To let your life disrupt mine
Or to give you away
To arms that longed for you

Anyway, sincerely
I didn’t think it mattered
You were just a product
Byproduct
Trash to burn
Smoke rising
Skin burning
Who smells it
Today?

Now my arms cry out
I regret my choice
It was not my right
It was my wrong
I was important
But you were more important
Than I knew
Than everyone with “reason” said
How I long to care for you
How I long to love and protect you
My son/
My daughter.

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Note: This fictional mother is like so many — believing a lie too long, too late. If you are like her, please know that with Jesus, there is forgiveness for every sin. He took the penalty for all of our sins in His body when He died on the cross. When we repent and believe, He gives us a new life now and forever. You can forgive yourself. You are loved!

Please see EveryPerson.com for more information, or read my story of coming to faith, How My Song Began. Or see About the Nearness of God for a prayer you can make your own and receive new life in Him.

Photo by Ana Tablas on Unsplash